Things to expect/consider when coming to therapy

Coming to Therapy 

You may be sat there now reading this thinking “ I feel I want to go seek help from a therapist but I have no idea where to start”. Well, if that’s how you feel then you are not alone. I was once in that very position and it felt a really vulnerable place to be so I fully understand how daunting that move feels.

How you may feel before the session

Let’s face it, talking to a perfect stranger like me about things that cause you hurt, pain and anxiety can feel like a mammoth step. You may feel worried and experience thoughts around trust, you may worry about confidentially, you may feel a degree of embarrassment about what brought you here. Trust me, all those are really normal feelings and emotions to have. 

What to expect

I thought it may help to share a little bit about what to expect when you come and see me for therapy. As therapists, we all work with the same focus and that is to keep you at the centre of the work but we all have our own little styles and “ways of being”. There are different forms of therapy and you may have noticed that my model is integrative. You may be sat there wondering “ what on earth is that and how is that relevant “. Well, the honest answer is this simple “ I shape therapy to suit your individual need”. I could sit here and babble about the psychological aspect or I can take that worry away from you and share with you things that may just help you on this journey.

So, where to start…

Well, as a therapist I understand that the most important aspect is the therapeutic relationship. How will therapy work if you are sitting with a person and there is no therapeutic relationship? The simple answer is that it won’t as you won’t feel able to share those difficult feelings and emotions. 

The therapeutic relationship is the integral role and my style of working is relational. I want you to feel my compassion, empathy, warmth and I want you to experience first-hand the acceptance that I offer. But, how do we get to that?

Am I the right therapist for you?

The first move is picking up the phone and making that decision to see about an appointment. How I tend to work is to offer 15 min chat at no cost so that you can gauge whether it ‘feels’ right to work with me. We all like different things in different people so I am not offended. In all honesty, I would not have therapy with a person just because they happen to be a therapist. I would have therapy with them because of how they made me feel.

Some things you may want to ask yourself

Do I feel at ease?

Do I feel emotionally safe?

Do I feel listened to?

Do I feel a connection?

The first therapy session with me

After our chat, I then arrange a 50 min appointment with you. This would be in an online capacity so you may want to lock the door, turn the mobile off and take a private space just for you. If we were together face to face in a room I could ensure the environment was right for you. It would be a private space, with no interruptions and comfortable so that you can sit and relax. Since I can’t do that you may want to consider what your needs are in terms of space, environment privacy etc. 

In our first appointment, I keep it real, I keep it informal working online can in itself create anxiety. What if the internet fails? Or is it private and can others hear? Having thoughts like this is perfectly understandable and normal generally after a couple of sessions these are worries that can be put aside. If the internet ever failed I will have a telephone number for you and I will call you on that (unless you stated you didn’t want that)

You may be really surprised in your first session as you may find that time feels to go really fast, and you may feel like there was so much more you wanted to say.

All of these thoughts and wanderings are perfectly normal. I hope this short blog has helped to give you a little insight into the process and help to put to rest some of those doubts. And if there are still some questions unanswered drop me an e-mail a text or give me a call. I am here to help!

Take Care

Best Wishes

Paula

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